oh hey..

Today is a watch cheaperbythedozen and reorganizeeverythinginthehouse(apartment)again instead of do homework day.

Im stressed out about school- and life- and its only been a week into the semester.

Im writing for the school newspaper (not by choice-by force) this semester and when my editor was critiquing my article i wrote on the hockey game I almost started crying.

He said,"Have you, um, ever actually read a sports article?"
me:"um, i dont know, my uncle is brad rock, so, uh, i guess ive read his article...once or twice."

maybe i should leave the sports to the rock monster. the helmrock monster just doesnt flow as well.

You guys I felt bad for him (my editor, seth). he's a really nice guy and felt really awkward that i wouldnt look him in the eyes because they would start tearing up.

And.. this is unlike me.

I can handle criticism- i was a cheerleader in high school. Every move i made was criticized, i actually grew to like it and learn from it(most of the time)

tears meant nothing to our coach (who had coached dramatic high school girls for 20 years and had been through plenty of tears).

And.. i have 3 brothers. that means no sensitivity in the rock household.

now i just do a dance when my brother tells me my new haircut makes me look like scout (the eight-year old tom boy on To Kill a Mocking Bird).

anyways... today I just scribbled notes on my paper and said, "uh-huh" between pauses without looking up.

and.. im graduating soon, well at least thats what people keep telling me and stressing me out about. it makes me feel sick. really sick.

"when are you going to take this class, you know its required, right?"

no, i didnt. but thanks i will take another freakin summer class.

"what are you going to do when you graduate?"

i dont know. i dont know. i dont know.

"well, what do you want to do"

nothing. nothing. nothing.

"good luck with that"

thanks. good luck to you too.

"am i now having conversations with myself over the world wide web?"

maybe.

yes.

I know. to make me feel better, i'll post 3 blog posts in one day.

my husband said that i was cute and that i should just enjoy my life.

i like him.
(except that he got a ticket last night. that would be ticket number 4 in the past 6 months...our insurance company, and our bank account, hate us right now..)